The Next Step

Hey Everyone,

Since I finished my internship with the Padres, a few things in my life have changed so I wanted to share that with all of you.

Currently I'm still out in AZ, spending most of my time studying for my national board exam and preparing a presentation for the first year students about my time out here and the things that I learned. Its hard to summarize just how much I learned this summer, and I feel like only now that Ive had some time off can I really absorbed everything. No matter where I end up, or what I end up doing, this summer, and the players I worked with, will forever be a part of the kind of therapist I become. These players probably helped me more than I ever helped them. By gaining their trust and respect, I can walk away from this with confidence in who I am as a therapist, and the obstacles I can overcome to fulfill my dream.

In other news, I got into the orthopedic post professional residency that I applied and interviewed for in Long Beach. This is a good thing. I was very on the fence about this whole program, and I felt like the only reasons I was doing it was due to pressure from professors and classmates. It was a player that knocked some sense in to me. While struggling with whether or not to apply I was weighing my options with this player. He asked me, "Will it be good for your career?"

I answered "Yes."

"Will it make you better."

"Without a doubt. But I'm just not sure I want to be in school another year. And I don't want to live in socal anymore."

To which he responded, "Do you think I want to be in the minors? Look around, you think any of these guys want to be here? Hurt...in the minors....in AZ? No. But you do what you have to do to get where you want to be."

He was so right. And I knew at that moment that I really should be doing this program, and that this is where God wants me to be; Its my minor leagues. It will make me a certified specialist in orthopedics and will ultimately not only benefit me and my career but more importantly the people I treat. The acceptance letter was addressed to Dr. House; I thought that was pretty cool. It is a paid residency with mentorship hours from a specialist, and then I will be attending courses on the weekends. So yes, a little more school. Can you believe it? It starts in Jan and I'll hopefully be living somewhere in redondo beach but that is yet to be determined.

Since I've had a little free time I also have been doing a lot of reading, and as per a sugestion am currently reading a book by Josh Hamilton (OF for the Texas Rangers) called Beyond Belief. He was the first overall right out of high school pic back in 99. Plagued with injury his first three years he resorted to drugs, and through that experience found salvation in Christ. I haven't finished it, but for me it was such good insight into the minds of some of these players and what

injuries can do to their mind when there is an endless amount of expectations from teams and fans and a tremendous amount of money invested in them....

"The pressure I felt came from me; I've always expected more of myself than others have. So what was wrong? Why didn't my life feel as good on the inside as it looked from the outside? To me, the problem was incredibly simple: my back hurt, and nobody knew why. Ever since the accident I couldn't shake the stabbing pain I felt whenever I changed directions quickly or attempted to make an explosive movement. I could sense the doubts from the team about my back, and I began to wonder too. The pain was there, it was real, but nobody could find anything wrong with me. Doubt started to work its way into my mind too. Was I imagining it? Did I really want to play baseball?"

I read this paragraph a few times. These are some of the things these guys deal with everyday. In fact, a Broncos running back just killed himself after struggling for a long time with a knee injury. It makes me want to do everything I can to dig deeper, to find out why players are hurt, and to never give up on them. Its a good book, I look forward to finishing it. Just thought I would share....

So thats what I've been doing lately. Got a chance to go the Padre/Giant game thanks to the padres. It was quite entertaining picking up the tickets....they were in the player willcall for the padres but of course I was wearing giants gear; I had multiple people confused...it was awesome. Go giants!

In His Hands,

Katy

The Gift

Hello Everyone,

Well the summer is coming closer to an end, which also means so is baseball, and my dream internship. I'll probably write one more blog after this to share about my last week here, but for now I wanted to tell you all a quick story and a gift that was given to me.

I mentioned previously the frustration of not getting to go play catch with some of my guys. Well that changed about a week ago, when I started to play catch with a starting pitcher that had a SLAP repair (google it..). The rehab is pretty extensive for this type of surgery, so when he started throwing again, he could only throw 45 to 60 feet, which even I can do. So over the last week I've been going outside in the 110 degree weather to play catch with him. As excited as I was to do this, I didn't really think about it fully.

You see, when these boys play "catch" they are still putting more heat on it than anything I've ever caught before. Also, here I am trying to catch a professional pitcher with my 20 dollar kmart special youth glove, which was not exactly designed for this. Not a good idea. I was really trying to not be a big baby, but with every catch my index finger was getting quite a zing, and I played it off like no big deal, but it hurt like the dickens!! I came in from playing catch the other day and another player asked me how catch was going. I told him I was doing fine except that I couldn't feel my left index finger. He asked me what kind of glove I had and when I showed him he said, "ya thats what I thought." He walked away and came back 2 minutes later with a brand new glove that he handed to me and said, "here. Its yours."

A brand new, professional pitchers glove. Not only is it brand new, but it has this guys name stiched into the side. I was speechless. He shook it off like no big deal, reminding me that he gets that stuff for free, but to me, it was a huge deal. Its got to be one of the coolest things anybody has ever given to me. He told me he'd been thinking about giving it to me as soon as I started going out there to throw because he knew I wasn't just getting balls lobbed to me, and even though the guy isn't throwing a 95 mph fb at my face, he still puts heat on it without even trying.

So now I'm learning how to break in a new glove. Its pretty sweet. All the guys are showing m how to bend it, and beat it, and rub stuff all over it. I feel like a little kid, I have that thing with me everywhere I go. The pitcher that gave it to me made me promise to use it, and not to put it in a box and save it. I promised. Its something I know I'll have the rest of my life, and no matter where I end up, its going to be a reminder of my summer under the lights of the stadium.

People can sometimes do something and never know what it means to someone else.

Enjoy your day wherever you are. If you are somewhere where its less than 70 degrees....please wear a sweatshirt for me :) Oh how I miss that!

Katy

The Change Up

"You gotta be a man to play baseball for a living, but you gotta have a lot of little boy in you, too."

Haha, I read that quote by Roy Campanella the other day in a nerdy baseball book and I found it quite fitting for this blog entry.

I felt like it was time to share some of the lighter moments from the last week with you guys. This way, when my mom steals internet from the hotel on her route to check her facebook and read my blog, she won't start crying and decide to read it to every person that passes by :) Love you mama.....

Anyways, on to the good stuff.

First of all, I didn't get voted class klutz Harbor High 2002 for nothing! The other day, I was in the exercise room with about three of my favorite players. The room is adjacent to the training room where probably another 10 players were hanging out as well as the other PTs and ATCs. The rooms are only separated by windows by the way. So the three players are all doing their own thing, and I'm specifically working with one guy but we are all kind of chatting. I go to sit down in a high back desk chair (that I learned seconds later was BROKEN), and as I lean back I find myself instantly on the floor, flat on my back with my legs over my head! I'm not talking about a small little fall....I sat in this chair, leaned back, and CRASHED. And let me tell you, it did not go unnoticed. A roar errupted from the three players in the room, which I really was ok with. Its when I looked up and realized the crowded training room through the windows was also watching, that my face suddenly flushed red and I quickly tried to pick my self up off the floor. But there was no recovery. The damage was done, and I had to stand and accept the joyous laughter it brought the boys for the rest of the day.

I found out that before I got there, the boys all looked me up on facebook to see if I was hot...I hope I didn't let them down. Haha. One of them also was going to walk in butt naked on my first day. I'm glad that one didn't happen....

I get teased a lot obviously because I'm the only girl and its fun to mess with me. I get it. There is a player that gets teased a lot because he has a seriously ugly mullet and its fun to mess with him too. This means the two of us try and stick together because we both get picked on. The other day in the training room someone said something to me and he came to give me a high five to let me know we were in it together, but when I go for the high five he drops his hand below mine and shouts "change up." Everyone got a kick out of it, and its become quite the game in the training room to see if you can get people to fall for it. Its fun. Try it....go now!

I also got to take some swings off the tee today in the batting cages. I'm not going to lie, I was pretty nervous that I wasn't even going to hit the darn thing with it sitting right there in front of me. I played one year of softball when I was like 10 years old. I didn't really like it because I couldn't put my elbow into anybody's chest like I could in soccer, and after taking one fly ball in the face I was over it. And I don't think I've ever hit a ball with a wood bat....ever. So I step up and I'm thinking "just don't miss the freaking ball..." but I didn't want to take a baby swing either. So I put everything I had into that swing, happy gilmore style, and I smacked the heck out of that ball. Now we were in the indoor batting cage, so you can't really tell what the ball does, but in my mind it was a double into the gap.

I learned the hard way that baseball managers don't like to be called coach. I'll just leave it at that.

Lastly, the player I've talked about in previous blog entries that I was struggling so much with trying to figure out how to help, was sent home. He got an injection that has him immobilized for 6 weeks, so they just sent him home because he was unable to do anything for the next six weeks. Before he left though, him and another player took Dom and I to dinner as a thank you. And I'm not talking In-n-out. It might have been one of the most expensive dinners I've had in a very long time. But he wanted to thank us, and it meant a lot to me. He also left me with this ball on his way out. It says, "to Dr. House, thanks for everything!" Its going up in my clinic some day :)

Never has this job been harder than it was this weekend because I had to watch the padre/giant games while wearing a padre shirt and couldn't cheer for the giants at all (seriously they threatened to fine me if I did.) However, the funny thing is most the guys cheer against the padres. In their mind, if the padres keep winning, it decreases their chances of getting called up. Haha, it made me laugh. One said, "I always root against them. Until I'm up. Then I'll want to win"

Its been a fun week.

You stay classy San Diego,

Katy

Genuine Love

Mother Teresa said this,

"Do not think that love, in order to be genuine, has to be extraordinary. What we need is to love without getting tired."

For those of you that know me well, you know some of the struggles I faced when I spent a summer in India working in the Mother Teresa home for the dying. At the time, it was easy to see what it meant to love. It meant holding a complete strangers hand as they passed away. It meant cleaning their wounds,feeding and bathing them, and making sure they were not alone as they died. For that summer, I didn't worry about my credit card bill, or the smog check on my car. I didn't spend time thinking about where I was going to eat that night, the laundry that needed to be done, or who was getting kicked off the bachelor that week. For that summer, I learned what it meant to love. The love Mother Teresa spent her whole life showing the world; a genuine love that doesn't have to be extraordinary.

I had a rough day at work yesterday, or at least I thought I had a rough day. There are a few players that I kind of see as "mine." Guys that come to me every day to get treated; guys who I have invested all my time and energy in rehabbing. One of my players is getting close to recovery from thumb surgery. Two days ago was the first day this infielder got to play catch, and I got to go outside with him and throw the ball. It was thrilling for me to see him back doing what he was made to do. So yesterday he was supposed to throw even further, and I brought my glove with the excitement that I would get to throw with him again. However, another PT took him outside and threw with him. I know it sounds pretty silly, but I was pretty upset.

As a therapist, you want to see the fruit of your labor, and after all the time and energy I put into this player, someone else is going to see it through. It wasn't a good start to my day. As the day went on, other PTs starting treating my other patients too and Satan took over and began telling me its because I'm not good enough, that they don't trust me with the players, that they are better than me, and that I'm just a wee little girl in a man's world.

Then I came home and got a lesson in humility from the God I love. He reminded me of that summer in India, the orphans and dying that I held in my arms, and the words of Mother Teresa rang through my mind. I have a genuine care and love for the people that God puts in my path to treat, including this player. And that love doesn't have to be anything but genuine. A friend reminded me that we do what we can for God; that my genuine love for people does not go unnoticed. That maybe the glory of his recovery will not go to me, but it was not my glory in the first place. I am simply a vessel that God can use to effect the lives around me. When we humbly walk in love, peoples lives can be changed. Our finger prints won't fade from the lives we change.

My lesson from my "rough day" was that I am out here doing what I can. And what I can do is display a genuine love. When Mother Teresa says it doesn't have to be extraordinary, but instead be a love that does not tire us, I understand what she means. For me, it can be exhausting sometimes; caring so much. I take things home with me, and spend sleepless nights thinking about what else I can do. She says we need to just simply love without growing weary. Whether I am in the slums of India, or working with professional athletes that drive my moms dream Jaguar, I have the opportunity to display a genuine love and touch lives. All Glory to God.

Katy

The Little Bear Cub That Could

Well Hello there,

If you are wondering if there is a reason I haven't written in a while, there is. Unfortunately, I was waiting for some good news to write an update, but not too much has come recently, so this is what you are going to get. Haha, don't worry there are some definite highlights from my week you are going to want to hear.

Firstly, the player that I've poured so much time and energy in has not been doing so well. After he had some really great days with no pain in his hand, he was freed to play in one of the rookie league games. It didn't go well, he only made in through two at bats. After that frustrating set back, he was sent back to SD to see the team docs....AGAIN. They decided they were going to give him a special injection to jump start healing. However, this injection means he can't do anything baseball related for another 6 weeks, and if that doesn't work they are going to cut him open again. When he came back and told me this, my heart sank, and seeing the frustration and disappointment on his face nearly killed me. I felt helpless, and I wished more than anything at that moment, that I had the answers for him. The good thing is, he has one of the best attitudes of anyone I've ever met, and he shows up for rehab everyday, even if all he can do is a cardio workout. In his free time he drew this up (pardon the language grandma, they are baseball players...)

Now, I know its hard to see, but this picture is worth a thousand words. I am the giant with the long hair and the frown on the right saying, "world peace." The reason I'm frowning is because they are trying to teach me how to have a mean face...it hasn't been working. I have developed quite a reputation here, and apparently its that I'm incapable of being mean. One player said it like this...."You see Katy, its like this. There is a Lion. Below the lion is a tiger. Way under that is a wee little bear cub. And underneath the bear cup is Katy House." Haha, now its not the first time that people have commented on my lack of meanness. And in this environment, its noticed more than ever because there are a lot of pretty strong personalities in the clubhouse. I have been taking it as a compliment that nobody out here thinks I have an ounce in mean in me ( but if they asked my bros or my roommates they would know thats not true), yet they still respect me. I'm the little bear cub that can! I'm tough on them when it comes to their rehab, and I don't let them get lazy or whine, but apparently I do it in the nicest way possible. I guess its a happy medium. By the way, I learned that niceness from my mama, she's pretty much the nicest person I've ever known.

In other news, I am currently car-less. So I may not make it back to California. Seriously. If anyone has a car they would like to hand out, please let me know. Free physical therapy for life if you get me a car. Also, Dom and I hiked to the top of Camelback mountain, and yes it was over 100 degrees and we nearly died. It was worth it.

Well thats it for now. Know that I'm still having a blast, and I may return with one heck of a mean face (but probably not).

LETS GO GIANTS,

Katy

The Lesson

Hello faithful readers!

This weeks lesson:

PATIENTS DO NOT CARE HOW MUCH YOU KNOW,

UNTIL THEY KNOW THAT YOU CARE.

A professor my first year of grad school spoke those words to us, and I've never forgotten them.

These words continue to be the way I try treat patients (and players) every day. It is easy sometimes to get into a routine, where work is work, and another tommy john surgery is just

another tommy john surgery. But if I could point out one big lesson from this week, it would be that sometimes (most the time actually) the best way to get a patient better is to show them that you care.

My greatest downfall as a therapist seems to be my inability to not take it personally if a patient (or player) is not getting better. In past clinical rotations, as well as this one, I find myself restless at night over certain patients. Its typical for me to come home and spend an hour or two studying and looking up the best ways to treat my patients. But I tend to beat myself up and I can't sleep because I feel like its my fault if they aren't progressing. This has been a struggle for me, especially this week. I have one guy in particular that has been through a lot in the last two years, including seeing multiple specialists, orthopedic surgeons, physical therapists and trainers. He has had too many MRIs/Xrays/CTs to count and more cortisone injections than should be possible. And after all this, he still can hardly even hold a baseball bat.

And then I show up. A not-even-brand-new-therapist that wants to take on the world and change the lives of every patient I have. So even though this player in particular has been through the ringer, and seen many people with far more knowledge and experience than me, I went in with full confidence that I could find the missing piece and have him playing baseball again in no time. Unfortunately this has not gone as planned, and I, like a lot of people in his life, feel a little stumped, and nothing I try seems to work. However, I have not given up, and until I have exhausted all options, I probably won't be sleeping anytime soon. On the bright side of all of this, I did come op with something that may possibly help him. When explaining to him why I was doing what I was doing, what I thought was causing his pain, and how I planned on fixing it, I even pulled out an anatomy book and showed him all the different nerves, muscles and bones we were working with. He looked me in the eyes and said, "what I want to know is...why in the last two years has nobody brought this up to me or even mentioned it to me." My response was that either they diidn't take the time to really dig into what the problem was, or that I was completely wrong. We both got a laugh. He said, "either way, thanks for taking the time." Somehow it makes the sleepless nights all worth it. People need to know that firstly we care for them, before we can even start to try and heal them.

Lastly, I threw a picture of the stadium in here. This is pretty much what I see every night when heading out to a game. Beautiful huh? Well also keep in mind its 105 degrees, and then you won't be so jealous.

To Him be the glory,

Katy

Making Strides

Hello Everyone,

Per the request of my grandma this morning on the phone, I'm writing a new update. I first off wanted to thank you all for the encouragement and prayers that you have been sending my way. The last couple of days have been great, and I've added a picture of the training room so you can see where I work everyday. There are a few guys here that just continue to encourage me with their trust in me and their willingness to do whatever it is I suggest or ask them to do. They have no idea what their trust does for my confidence.

The one player in particular that I spoke about in my last entry has been making great strides. Today he was able to swing the bat pain free for the first time in over a year. He is a player I would love to see succeed because I see how deeply he loves the sport of baseball and how much he cares about everyone in that clubhouse. I told him today that the feeling he gets when he knocks a ball out of the park is the same feeling I get when I see people get better and return to what they love. The smile on his face when he told me he swung with no pain was worth every hellish second I have spent in grad school. However, he then went on to tell me how well he hits against Matt Cain and it took every ounce of me not to scream at him. Haha but I'm sure if he goes against Cain again I will be rooting for him.

My Spanish is greatly improving these days as well. Baseball is so saturated with Spanish speaking players, i'm getting a lot of good spanish in. The guys seem to really like that I can speak with them, they are used to their teammates just yelling at them to learn english. Haha, one of the guys nicknamed me "gorda" which means fatty, and started calling me that all day long. One of the pitching coaches heard him call me that and chewed him out. I explained to him that in the States, its not nice to call girls fat. It was kinda funny.

Not much else going on besides work. The schedule is so nuts I have to ask Dom what day it is every morning as we are driving to work. I went to the Christ Church of the Valley out here in peoria on Sunday, and felt right at home. I already scooped out their youth program in case I end up staying a little while. My roomies and I are headed to the Giants/Dimondbacks game on friday which I'm super excited about. Never been to Chase Field, and it will nice to finally be able to wear a Giants shirt and not a Padres shirt.

Continue to pray that I can be a light in the clubhouse everyday.

"Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners-of whom I am the worst. But for that very reason I was shown mercy so that in me, the worst of sinners, Christ Jesus might display his unlimited patience as an example for those who would believe in him and receive eternal life." 1 Tim 1:15-17

To Him Be the Glory,

Katy

Having Something to Prove

Hello All,

Well I am starting to settle in a little bit here in Arizona and with the Padres. However, there have definitely been some hard days and players that have challenged me mentally and emotionally. Thankfully there are a lot of really players that make up for the few jerks.

I wanted to share with you about one guy in particular who has really made me feel like I could be good at this, and that the last three years of my life have not been wasted. Without saying any names, this guy was a first round draft pic for the padres a few years back, and has already spent some time up in the big leagues. However, he has been plagued with an injury in his hand that has prevented him from becoming the starting second baseman for the padres. After having pain for over a year, he finally had surgery on the hand 10 weeks ago, but his recovery has been slower than expected, and with every day that goes by his frustration grows. In the last week, my classmate and I have been able to try all kinds of new stuff on him, and he is loving it. He is the kind of patient every PT dreams of; he works hard, hes very interesting in learning why we are doing what we are doing, and he genuinely wants to get better. He does nothing but express his gratitude for our desire to get him better and the energy we have been putting in to really getting to the reason he isn't healing as quickly as he would like. Plus, he is one of the nicest guys here, and it puts some faith back into me that there are some nice athletes out there.

Some days haven't been as fun though, as being somewhat of a small girl makes guys think that I'm not strong enough to work on them. I even had one guy asked to measure my power on a machine we have before he would let me treat him. I kind joked around with him, but I was pretty hurt. However, the next day, after I treated him, he was telling all the guys how he really had no idea I was as strong as I was. I guess thats what I have to do here, continue to prove to them that I am here for a reason. Nobody said change was easy, but I really hope to make the guys understand that I am just as capable of taking care of them and aiding their rehab as any other guy here.

As for life outside of work, I haven't had time for much. Dom and I went golfing the other morning for only 25 bucks because we told them we worked for the padres. I suck at golf, but it was fun to get out and not be around baseball for a bit. We also made it to church sunday morning before we had to work. It was pretty weird for me to be at a different church, and it made me miss CCV and all my youth kids there a lot. Life is changing and I continue to pray that God guides me to the plans He has for me in the near future.

Thats all for now, thanks for reading.

In His Hands,

Katy

The First Days

Well Hello All !!

So I have officially been in AZ for a week, and let me first tell you it is freaking hot!!! However, its kinda like people told me "its really not that bad." The temp may be 100+, but it really doesn't feel the way it would feel in Cali.

I wanted to give you guys a quick run down on what my daily life has been like here. I get to the padres complex at around 12. The players start coming in around 1 to be treated and they basically just put their name on a white board in the order they come in. There are about 18 guys rehabbing for the padres right now. Mostly we are seeing elbow and shoulder surgeries, a few knee surgeries and a couple hand injuries. After a couple hours of treating, the guys go out to stretch and practice, while we chart. Then if we are done with everything and everybody has been seen we go out and watch the game. Here are some quick highlights from week 1:

1. My first day one of the pitchers told me he didn't think I was strong enough to work on him. I told him I was stronger than I looked and in the middle of treating him he tapped out and said "ok ok I think you are stronger that I am!" I loved it.

2. In being the only girl surrounded by 40 boys I've learned even the most innocent of things can be taken the wrong way. I was asking some of the guys about restaurants in az and I said, "do you guys have BJs in AZ?" This comment caused quite a commotion and now they are all calling me, in a most loving manner, BJ. So thats my nickname.

3. After watching a few of our rehab guys throw bullpens the other day, we stayed and watched PFPs (Pitchers Fielding Practice). This has probably been the most fun thing for me to watch. Basically the pitchers stand on the mound and the pitching coaches hit balls right back at them....probably very scary for them, but amusing to watch.

Although I'm the only girl, and I have to take a mile hike to get to a women's restroom, I feel right at home. Its like hanging with my brothers and talking baseball all day. That's the update for the week...today is my day off and "Mam" is coming to town, which I'm really excited about. I'm just trying to take in every day and be grateful that I have my dream internship.

In His Hands,

Katy

The Adventure Begins

Well Hello All,

Per the request of several people (well mostly JP ) I have started this blog to keep track of the adventures I am about to face in Arizona this summer. I'm pretty sure the only people who will read it are my mom and JP...so shout out to you two!

For anyone that may not know exactly what I'm doing let me tell you...(or at least what I know.) I'm doing my residency, which is a fancy term for specialty internship, with the Rehab Coordinator for the San Diego Padres. The rehab centers for most MLB teams on this side of the country are in Arizona, hence that is where I'm headed.Peoria, to be exact, which is an outskirt of Phoenix. From what I understand, on a daily basis I will be working with the 40 guys on the rookie team out there, as well as anybody who is on a rehab assignment which could be from single A to the majors. I got an email from my boss saying there are currently 23 guys in rehab. So that's about 60 guys for one physical therapist....geesh!! No wonder he's excited to have us!

I say "Us" because one of my best friends, Dom, from physical therapy school is going as well. He is from San Diego and grew up a padres fan.. so he is pretty stoked! I would say I'm pretty stoked too. Dom and I went out to the complex for spring training this year and it was pretty nice (see the wonderful picture?)

As I begin this journey, there are a few things I have been praying heavily for, and could use the support in that. Firstly, I know I am going to face many challenges this summer being surrounded by tons of boys not to mention pro athletes! My prayer is that I can be a light and really glorify God in all that I do with these players, and the other staff. These words keep running through my mind, "I'm asking on my knees that my life would be something, and not just what I dream. Lord as I offer everything, I pray that my life would make you pleased. That I might move mountains and wake the sea, Lord that your light would shine through me."

My second prayer is that I remain humble in this experience. I've found myself pretty proud when I'm telling people what I'm doing, but everything Ive done, and all that I've been able to accomplish thus far is all because of God. Working in baseball is cool, and a dream come true, but if this is not where God wants me, its not where I want to be. Lastly, pray that I stay hydrated and don't fry in the 115 + degree weather !! Eeeeek.

Lastly, I just wanted to say thanks to all my family and friends that have supported throughout grad school. I love you all and can't wait to see what this year will bring.